Sometimes, what’s required is a leap of faith. To cross an unknown chasm towards a change that you long for. It’s a road you may not have walked before, with challenges unseen and a dread about making it to the other side. You even doubt if there is another side. Keep moving forward. One day, if you don’t already know it, you will come to experience the Light that is always here for us, earth “angels” who will come into the picture to support you on your journey.
I remember when my dad died, I had never experienced a loss like that. My emotions were all over the place. I knew that he was going to go, but I thought I had more time with him. It was heart-wrenching. At the time, I was only a year or so in with a 12-step programme, working on myself. I was afraid of losing any ground I had gained, afraid of moving backwards. Lots of turmoil, crying, emotions that I didn’t even know existed and was unsure that I could handle.
I remember, the angels that entered the picture as I stumbled and crawled. A wise, older woman from my meeting. She reassured me that while it might feel like I was going crazy, I could get through this to the other side. I couldn’t see it, but I chose to believe and trust her. I took the leap. In a lot of ways, it felt like one step backwards, two steps forward, like she said. Incrementally moving forward though. Two amazing girlfriends at the time who were also experiencing great loss in their lives. I truly believe that we became lifelines for each other when we may have felt like too much for loved ones in our lives.
I did have to orient myself in the right direction and take the necessary action, baby steps, to move myself forward. I came to believe and know for myself that the Universe always has my back and there is another side.
About 3 weeks ago, I was walking in the park. At a shaded part where the trail curves, I almost stepped on a copperhead. At the last moment, I spotted it and hopped to the right and moved quickly away. A few feet on, I looked back at the snake. Just there, beautiful colours and at length in the middle of the trail. I took a picture and went on. I was a little spooked and jumpy from that point, scrutinising everything on the ground, making sure that every stick and leaf wasn’t another snake.! Later, on reflection, I came up with some helpful thoughts for myself, especially to pay attention to the unfolding path before me, not just looking at the pretty sky, the clouds, the birds in the trees, but also the ground beneath my feet and my surrounding habitat.
A week later at the same park, while I was sitting looking at the lake, a young woman ran up to me to tell me that she had seen a snake in the park a couple of weeks earlier. We exchanged anecdotes and off she went. I was struck that she went out of her way to get my attention and to share something helpful. This morning, yep, same park, I saw an older man approaching. He called out to a woman way ahead of me. She ignored whatever he was saying and moved quickly away. He got to me and stopped me to tell me that I was to be careful because there was a snake ahead. It was an older man that I have seen on many occasions. We have never spoken but always acknowledge each other with a wave. I thanked him, kept walking, attentive for the possible snake ahead and then, for some reason without attaching any meaning to my feelings, I felt like crying. It may seem stupid, but someone actively looking out for and caring about my safety and well-being really touched me in that moment.
I will keep it simple, but I did make lots of connections and drew parallels to my/our journey, paths unfolding, angels and “snakes” that weave in and out of our lives and experiences. Love to you all as you go about your day. Enjoy the moments, the lessons, the unfolding chapters and the cast of characters that bless our experience!